Why can’t I leave?

Missing someone who hurt you can feel deeply frustrating. You may know they lied, manipulated, ignored, controlled, or emotionally harmed you and still miss them terribly. That can make you question yourself. But missing them does not mean they were good for you. You can miss a person and still know they were unhealthy. You can miss the connection, the hope, the routine, the fantasy, the comfort, and the good moments, even if the overall relationship caused pain. What people

Leaving a painful relationship is often described as freedom, but what many people do not expect is the emotional withdrawal that can come after. You may think that once the relationship is over, you will instantly feel peace. And sometimes there is relief. But there can also be sadness, panic, emptiness, longing, confusion, and a powerful urge to go back. This does not always mean you made the wrong decision. When you have been in a relationship filled with emotional highs a

From the outside, people often ask, “Why didn’t you just leave?” But from the inside of a painful relationship, leaving can feel far more difficult than anyone realizes. Sometimes staying feels easier because it is familiar. Even if the relationship is unhealthy, you know its patterns. You know what to expect. Leaving means stepping into uncertainty, grief, loneliness, and the loss of the future you hoped for. Many people are not only attached to the person. They are attached

The push-pull cycle happens when someone repeatedly pulls you close and then pushes you away. One moment they are affectionate, present, and emotionally available. The next, they become distant, cold, withdrawn, critical, or confusing. This creates emotional instability that can become deeply addictive. When someone pulls you in, you feel chosen, connected, and hopeful. You start to believe the relationship is improving. Then, just as you begin to feel safe, they pull away. T

Trauma bonding is a strong emotional attachment that forms between a person and someone who repeatedly hurts, mistreats, or manipulates them. It is confusing because the bond can feel intense, loyal, and hard to break — even when the relationship is clearly painful. This bond often forms through repeated cycles of harm followed by comfort. For example, someone may lie, criticize, ignore, control, or emotionally wound you. Then later, they apologize, become affectionate, promi

One of the most confusing parts of a painful relationship is this: if someone keeps hurting you, why do you still feel so attached to them? The answer is not weakness. It is not because you enjoy pain. And it does not mean the relationship is healthy. Often, what feels like “love addiction” is actually a mix of emotional dependency, nervous system activation, hope, and repeated cycles of reward and pain. When someone hurts you and then suddenly becomes loving again, your body